Suicide is not selfish. Suicide will never be selfish. Suicide is the terminal result of debilitating, life altering brain bullshit.
Unless you are the type that tells cancer patients if they die, it’s selfish… 🤷🏿♀️ I hate the terms mental illness/mental health bc it is not that black and white. If I’m going to use mental illness, then understand I don’t mean an ailment of the mind alone, because it’s far more like a cancer of the soul.
One time in the mental hospital, they had us write reasons why we shouldn’t… my list does not, and never will include people. My brain likes to convince me that people would be better off without me. My brain whispers it would be a favor, they’d be better off, etc. In my first psychotic break, I became convinced if I didn’t, my kids would be killed. I don’t know many moms that would handle that debate well, and I was persistently trying to ”unalive” (wtf 🙄) myself as I was waiting to be taken to the ward. But this story is not unique, and that’s the part that keeps me up at night. I will always come out of my burning house and go back in with buckets.
I just talked someone through a goddamn panic attack last night. She has all this shit going on and some asshat told her it’s not a big deal and she’s overreacting. Ya know, I don’t think it’s overreacting to have a mental and emotional meltdown if I was in her shoes. I’d say it’s fucking distressing, and I’d have a panic attack too. And guess what? That’s how you help someone. I don’t know how anyone conceives that diminishing or invalidating someone’s feelings is helpful. It baffles.
I don’t see what is so complicated about loving someone up. But I’ll tell ya, ignorant people punch a lot of fucking people down with wagging and clucking tongues.
For what it’s worth, my list includes things like Peanut M&Ms, music, sunsets, and the ocean.
If you know, you know. If you don’t, learn or shut the fuck up. It’s not even that hard to validate someone instead of asserting your version of reality upon them. Your desire to protect your precious feelings and comfort makes it so hard for those of us rotting behind big smiles and “I’m OK” to acknowledge our dirty laundry, let alone air it out so we can see how many others are suffering just like us, and see that we’re not alone.
Suicide rates, depression/anxiety dx’s, inpatient rates, you name it are 📈📈📈📈and that’s the people that talk and have awareness that there’s a problem, who knows how many are actually struggling? Bring in those suffering under addiction? Fuck. So all those folks? I see you. You’re not alone. You’re safe here.
And if you’re okay? Cool. I’ll be here when you’re not too. Nobody is always ok.
AND THAT IS OKAY!!!!!!
Leave a Reply