The hardest part about depression is realizing you’re depressed. We all use words to deceive ourselves. It’s not depression, I’m not depressed I’m just like … miserable and I don’t know why. I just know it’s my fault. I’m not depressed, I’m just really tired and cranky. I’m not depressed, I just generally don’t want... Continue Reading →
I read once that if you want to be immortal, break a poet's heart. Very thankful for my immortal 🤣 this has to be one of my favorite poems I've written.
Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →
I’ve been in a funk lately. There was 0 creativity, 0 writing (except for endless pages of journals) and 100% feeling stuck, disconnected, uninspired. I’ve been thinking about how happy I was writing years ago and how…not happy that it’s been for years and years. I’ve been wondering if I’m just…a facade. This fake, hollow,... Continue Reading →
The past is chaos, confusion, anxiety, depression. The future is the same. Right now, there’s two feet here. Right here, there’s one breath now. And as long as I remain, I cannot create a solution to find a problem, or a problem to find me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KD_JxmmPgg I feel like anything could be going on in the world, and I can find peace and happiness in this song. It's like going to church for me. The instrumentation combined with NDGT's words remind me how blessed I am to be alive right now. That I get to hear this. That I get... Continue Reading →
When I started losing my mind - I mean really losing it - I learned the term Dark Night of the Soul. It helped me feel less lost. It helped me see that destruction comes before creation. Or that sometimes you do need to burn it all down to get to the new. I don’t... Continue Reading →