The hardest part about depression is realizing you’re depressed. We all use words to deceive ourselves. It’s not depression, I’m not depressed I’m just like … miserable and I don’t know why. I just know it’s my fault. I’m not depressed, I’m just really tired and cranky. I’m not depressed, I just generally don’t want... Continue Reading →
Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →
Y'all haven't watched enough Jurassic Park, and it shows. What did we learn? Can man control life? Can man play god? What happens when man plays god? If we make a quick swap between dinos and viruses, I'm feeling like my weird low-key obsession with Michael Crichton and Jeff Goldblum is coming in pretty damn... Continue Reading →
The most difficult part of trauma is that most people don't like to use the word trauma. There is a misunderstanding that trauma is "so bad". If you had a bruise, it's skin trauma. All of us have had a bruise, so all of us have had some kind of skin trauma. To others, skin trauma means something "really bad" like someone shaved off your face and wore it. Not all of us have had our faces removed, but we have all had trauma. And we need to talk about it - because trauma can only be healed by being processed
With everything going on right now, I thought this had merit. With the tragic loss of the great Chris Cornell, I thought this post was good to re-share. 13 reasons why I am happy, and 13 reasons why I won't harm myself. Inspired by Virtual Vomit And J-Dub 🙂 The challenge is to write 13... Continue Reading →
You do not need statistical data nor exponential equations to learn the power of doing nothing. 5 minutes of meditation a day teaches how powerful doing nothing is. In fact, it saved my life. Before I meditated, I was the type of person who worked 60 hour weeks, cooked huge dinners, cleaned the house, and... Continue Reading →
Drove through Reno last night. This time last week, my husband and I were driving to have a spaghetti day. By spaghetti day, I mean: there is a healing center in Reno I’ve been wanting to go to. I was scared to go by myself, and I really wanted to try a sensory deprivation float.... Continue Reading →
5 years ago, 2 people fought and 5 lives imploded. Countless others were hurt in the fallout. 4 years ago, I was continuing to be a functional alcoholic, self harming and taking out all my pain by starving myself and living on beer, a slice of ham and multivitamins. 3 years ago, I left the... Continue Reading →
I had a panic attack last night because the counters were dirty. There I was shaking, heart trying to climb out of my chest ala Alien, and my brain running away in storyland. Because the counters were dirty. Initially, because I’m human, I was pissed. Like, “this? This is the hill we’re dying on today?... Continue Reading →
Today is Mental Health Day. It would be swell if I got to deal with my mental health once a year. For me, and anyone else who struggles, every day is mental health day. Often “good” days can be tainted with a sense of wondering when the shit will hit the fan. The “bad” days... Continue Reading →
