Well, I'm working through a lot of stuff right now because there are a lot of milestones/triggers/memories, whatever in this timeframe. From August to January, every year, I am most likely to go insane or start hurting myself in some manner. Whether it's picking up old habits or inventing new ones, I struggle up or... Continue Reading →
I had a panic attack last night because the counters were dirty. There I was shaking, heart trying to climb out of my chest ala Alien, and my brain running away in storyland. Because the counters were dirty. Initially, because I’m human, I was pissed. Like, “this? This is the hill we’re dying on today?... Continue Reading →
Today is Mental Health Day. It would be swell if I got to deal with my mental health once a year. For me, and anyone else who struggles, every day is mental health day. Often “good” days can be tainted with a sense of wondering when the shit will hit the fan. The “bad” days... Continue Reading →
If you asked me, (no one did) the hardest part of depression is admitting to yourself that you’re depressed. Following the woman in a black dress analogy, she doesn’t announce herself. She doesn’t even make herself at home. She silently climbs on your back and begins whispering in your ear. Her whispers become the painted... Continue Reading →
Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →
I’ve been reading Touched by Fire. It’s a study on mood disorders - particularly bipolar - and artists. It’s so fascinating but also eating me up a bit. Reading the facts about Poe, Van Gogh, Woolfe, Tenneyson, Lord Byron...on and on...it’s cathartic to feel not alone and certainly in good company, and depressing to read... Continue Reading →
My eyes are a wormhole Let them take you deep inside I'll reveal all the secrets That my smiles like to hide Let them take you on a journey Into my flesh sealed cave The dark is only scary if you forgot to bring a flame Do you see my blue skies Or do... Continue Reading →
The hydra is finished I modify my appearance with important events. I celebrated my driver's license with getting my cartilages pierced (and literally starting to date the dude who would become the father of the girl represented by my left shoulder) A tattoo goes on to mark something for me. (Literally, no shit Sherlock) Figuratively,... Continue Reading →
Editor’s note: While I will make every attempt to make my writing funny and approachable, please know my content is not for everyone. I am talking about dark, painful issues that you may have no experience with. You may have experience with them, and not want to relive them. I am talking about various forms... Continue Reading →
