Our Dark Night of the Soul

When I started losing my mind - I mean really losing it - I learned the term Dark Night of the Soul. It helped me feel less lost. It helped me see that destruction comes before creation. Or that sometimes you do need to burn it all down to get to the new. I don’t... Continue Reading →

The Purpose of Pain

5 years ago, 2 people fought and 5 lives imploded. Countless others were hurt in the fallout. 4 years ago, I was continuing to be a functional alcoholic, self harming and taking out all my pain by starving myself and living on beer, a slice of ham and multivitamins. 3 years ago, I left the... Continue Reading →

Sterilize

Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →

Hell is where the heart is

Talking about rape, abortion, adoptions - also the last 20 years of my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read about yucky stuff. Go anywhere else on my blog, there's plenty.

Who’s to say when the beginning ends?

The hydra is finished I modify my appearance with important events. I celebrated my driver's license with getting my cartilages pierced (and literally starting to date the dude who would become the father of the girl represented by my left shoulder) A tattoo goes on to mark something for me. (Literally, no shit Sherlock) Figuratively,... Continue Reading →

Soon Enough, I’ll Go…

...Instead of running with anxiety, I’m questioning it. “What is this [discomfort of whatever form] saying to me?” Has been more helpful then “I’ve ruined everything and I am a worthless idiotic sack of shit” (believe it or not!) Earlier today, I did it and then went to meditate, and just now I did it and realized I needed to flop for a few minutes.

Confidence

How I built up the confidence to get a massive back piece and accidentally made peace with myself in the process #recovery#tattoojunkie

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