The hardest part about depression is realizing you’re depressed. We all use words to deceive ourselves. It’s not depression, I’m not depressed I’m just like … miserable and I don’t know why. I just know it’s my fault. I’m not depressed, I’m just really tired and cranky. I’m not depressed, I just generally don’t want... Continue Reading →
Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →
I’ve been in a funk lately. There was 0 creativity, 0 writing (except for endless pages of journals) and 100% feeling stuck, disconnected, uninspired. I’ve been thinking about how happy I was writing years ago and how…not happy that it’s been for years and years. I’ve been wondering if I’m just…a facade. This fake, hollow,... Continue Reading →
The past is chaos, confusion, anxiety, depression. The future is the same. Right now, there’s two feet here. Right here, there’s one breath now. And as long as I remain, I cannot create a solution to find a problem, or a problem to find me.
When all the colors mix together... It’s like lava in my lungs And all the words I cannot shout It’s the bile of my breath And the things I think about It’s all i cannot show you And all i cannot say It’s all the things I’m not supposed to And all bleeds out in... Continue Reading →
Sharpening Selecting Sharp life knives Roast beef flesh And Sunday dinner smiles Mashed potato mountains I once dreamed I could move Hand stirs the pot The knife carves through what The smile gets bigger Time for dinner The gravy is lies, salt, and pepper Stirred in this sanity like a thickening roux Poured into the... Continue Reading →
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDkAGkd4NLc Is it possible that "there is no spoon" and mustard seed mountains are the same truth? Remember how Jesus said, "if ye had but a mustard seed of faith, ye shall move mountains"? It's a weird linguistic barrier. I don't even really know what a mustard seed looks like, I have no real context... Continue Reading →
Cool things have been happening. One, I started writing a poetry book with the kids. Inspired by Dr. Seuss & Shel Silverstein. The kids are illustrating it and my daughter's even adding her own poems. Two, I've been writing a lot in general. Three, I feel good about myself. Not like sniffing my armpits and... Continue Reading →