I think it’s hailing again. Sounds very plinky outside. I think I’m writing a short story; I'm close to 3k words. I don’t know how long it could be. It’s all waiting to be told. The idea came right as I was falling asleep, and I was paranoid I was going to forget it. I... Continue Reading →
Well, I'm working through a lot of stuff right now because there are a lot of milestones/triggers/memories, whatever in this timeframe. From August to January, every year, I am most likely to go insane or start hurting myself in some manner. Whether it's picking up old habits or inventing new ones, I struggle up or... Continue Reading →
I had a panic attack last night because the counters were dirty. There I was shaking, heart trying to climb out of my chest ala Alien, and my brain running away in storyland. Because the counters were dirty. Initially, because I’m human, I was pissed. Like, “this? This is the hill we’re dying on today?... Continue Reading →
I’m 37 tomorrow. Last night, I realized that 3+7=10=1 in numerology. 36 is 3+6=9. Aside from the ability to do basic math, (I’m a big kid now) in astrology, 9 is about endings, and 1 is about beginning. New cycle. New start. In the tarot, 1 is the magician card - the master of the... Continue Reading →
This 💯 OCD is an anxiety disorder, and it is a chicken or the egg situation. Is anxiety making the OCD worse? Or is OCD making the anxiety worse? Combine this with mixed states in bipolar - where the person is both depressed and manic at the same time, it is akin to feeling like... Continue Reading →
I wanted to share the conversation I had with my 8 year old last night...He was lying in bed and started crying saying he didn’t want to grow up and he didn’t want to die. The first thing I said was that nobody said he had to grow up. His body will get bigger and... Continue Reading →
It always starts and ends the same. Not enough. I am not enough. It is not enough. That was not enough. It was never enough to gain the one thing I wanted, but could never quite attain. Approval, maybe. Acceptance, perhaps? Love, for sure. But, I think maybe the calming hush of everything just being... Continue Reading →
When anyone takes the time to read any of the things I write, it’s thrilling. I’ve finally gotten out of the delusion that I have to “be”, “sell”, or “do” anything outside of writing to be a writer. Similarly, I've learned I don't have to do anything more than be alive to be successfully living.... Continue Reading →
Talking about rape, abortion, adoptions - also the last 20 years of my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read about yucky stuff. Go anywhere else on my blog, there's plenty.
