The hardest part about depression is realizing you’re depressed. We all use words to deceive ourselves. It’s not depression, I’m not depressed I’m just like … miserable and I don’t know why. I just know it’s my fault. I’m not depressed, I’m just really tired and cranky. I’m not depressed, I just generally don’t want... Continue Reading →
Sterilize
Sterilize Sterile smiles, virile lies I’m getting better, my soul has died It is an illness It is insane It is my heaven It is my grave They say it’s catching Like I’m a cough They say I’m crazy I say, so what? Starry eyes, eerie cries Into the heavens I have soared I’ve danced... Continue Reading →
Who wrote your dictionary? Full post
Y'all haven't watched enough Jurassic Park, and it shows. What did we learn? Can man control life? Can man play god? What happens when man plays god? If we make a quick swap between dinos and viruses, I'm feeling like my weird low-key obsession with Michael Crichton and Jeff Goldblum is coming in pretty damn... Continue Reading →
Coping and Covid – Mental Health is just as important as washing hands
Just thinking out thumbs here: -As social distancing and isolation become a preventative measure, depression and anxiety will follow. -As social creatures, we need human interaction for our mental health. Those predisposed to depression tend to seek out isolation to deal with their mental torment. Isolation helps depression distort the mind. -Depression tells you everyone... Continue Reading →
A meditation on meditating with Covid (whoa, Meta)
You do not need statistical data nor exponential equations to learn the power of doing nothing. 5 minutes of meditation a day teaches how powerful doing nothing is. In fact, it saved my life. Before I meditated, I was the type of person who worked 60 hour weeks, cooked huge dinners, cleaned the house, and... Continue Reading →
The transformation of anxiety to laughter
Drove through Reno last night. This time last week, my husband and I were driving to have a spaghetti day. By spaghetti day, I mean: there is a healing center in Reno I’ve been wanting to go to. I was scared to go by myself, and I really wanted to try a sensory deprivation float.... Continue Reading →
Ubuntu
Ubuntu Don’t know what comes next Not sure what I’m to do I feel like I just gotta trust And stop putting so much Fear In the 6 ft between me and you I don’t need you at my side I don’t care if you won’t hug me But I gotta stop and question Who... Continue Reading →
What are we spreading?
To say I needed this would be like saying water is wet. Which it is, just as chaos is order and there’s bad in good and good in bad. ☯️ With everything going on, I keep saying: kindness, compassion, and gratitude can spread more quickly than any virus. We learn this truth in suffering. It... Continue Reading →
The Purpose of Pain
5 years ago, 2 people fought and 5 lives imploded. Countless others were hurt in the fallout. 4 years ago, I was continuing to be a functional alcoholic, self harming and taking out all my pain by starving myself and living on beer, a slice of ham and multivitamins. 3 years ago, I left the... Continue Reading →
On Dirty Counters and Anxiety – How to lose your shit over dumb shit (with style)
I had a panic attack last night because the counters were dirty. There I was shaking, heart trying to climb out of my chest ala Alien, and my brain running away in storyland. Because the counters were dirty. Initially, because I’m human, I was pissed. Like, “this? This is the hill we’re dying on today?... Continue Reading →