She shares this from bed day 4, though yesterday was a productive mostly bed day where I wrote while I cleaned the kitchen and then went back to bed. I took a nap before making dinner, and after dinner, I took a nap. Had a throwing up panic attack last night. Guess who can’t handle... Continue Reading →
The following things, in no particular order, are top priorities: -Gratitude for everything, even the things pissing me off -Feeling feelings without trying to change them -Being a being without trying to change me -Breathing more deeply and letting things breathe -Reading more, thinking less -Getting outside and not being a hermit -Make new friends... Continue Reading →
I think it’s hailing again. Sounds very plinky outside. I think I’m writing a short story; I'm close to 3k words. I don’t know how long it could be. It’s all waiting to be told. The idea came right as I was falling asleep, and I was paranoid I was going to forget it. I... Continue Reading →
All We Need is Just a Little Patience Inner Wisdom whispers Stroking my unruly curls The tears that had blossomed But never unfurled Just the stinging of the dew . . . .. ... ....wait for it Mel Gibson said it But the whisper was more like a cough A choking sensation From my exhalations... Continue Reading →
After tomorrow, all of the horizons will be unfamiliar. It made me cry, even though I can’t wait to have the mountains as my horizon, the reality of everything being unfamiliar is so intimidating. Is it really though? Questioning thoughts have opened my eyes to reality. At first, I said yes. I have a hard... Continue Reading →
From yesterday, 1 week out from move. Current mantra/hopefully help me keep some shred of me intact: “The family that cries together, flies together” Shirts are soaked in my children’s tears - for days now. My shoulder is soaked with my husband’s tears, and my cheeks are soaked in mine. I tell us all this... Continue Reading →
The hydra is finished I modify my appearance with important events. I celebrated my driver's license with getting my cartilages pierced (and literally starting to date the dude who would become the father of the girl represented by my left shoulder) A tattoo goes on to mark something for me. (Literally, no shit Sherlock) Figuratively,... Continue Reading →
...Instead of running with anxiety, I’m questioning it. “What is this [discomfort of whatever form] saying to me?” Has been more helpful then “I’ve ruined everything and I am a worthless idiotic sack of shit” (believe it or not!) Earlier today, I did it and then went to meditate, and just now I did it and realized I needed to flop for a few minutes.
In two weeks, we are on the road to a new home. In two weeks, we officially say goodbye to all the familiar and blow our comfort zone into the ether. I keep feeling like our little troupe is a bunch of badasses. I’m so grateful our family chose each other because I can’t imagine this journey with anyone else. My greatest teachers and loves. My best friends.
Well, the black and grey is. Next step is coloring the eyes and pops of color in the flowers. I was going to leave that for now, but instead, I'll go do that next week for a couple hours. This was about an hour and a half, I didn't even have enough time to fall... Continue Reading →