Commando

I felt my soul ripped outward, hung shapeless in the day

Rose red of blushing cheeks, as the world inspects my shame

I hid naked in the daylight, a flesh covered rag doll

A child heaved in the darkest gutters of my own desire

I found the hell they speak of, when I gazed into the mirrors

The illusions of my reflections, on every face I see

Projections of insanity, kaleidoscopic horrors at my hands

Machetes of my mind hacked the slim vine I clung above quicksand

So down I sunk into debris of depression, choking on my own tongue

 

Trust became a death knell, a rattle stuck in the throat

Friends & Love became enemies, grenades where hearts once beat

Imagination made a living nightmare, pulling every pin

Explosions of suffering paint the rainbow of my skin

With blacks and blues, I am serenity of suffering

Chattering reflections screaming softly become nemesis within

Turning left wrist against right, as the blade nips lightly at your skin

You shiver at the prospect of ending it all again

Grabbing hair by the handful, shoving your head down

Give a swirly of delusion, in the toilet we call life

 

“It’s fine!”, lies slip off the snake skin of our tongues

As teeth cage the woman screaming for release

Did we come here to clean piss stains from lazy dicks with one eye aim?

Or did we come to bend the backs of that which will not break?

Our minds now unkempt closets of the discarded panties of the soul

Yet one foot continues forward, and the next begrudgingly follows

 

Fore eyes stay ahead, as I carved them out from behind

I know that in this moment, is all that I have left

Tomorrow is an exhalation from my tired smoker’s lungs

The past merely shit stained panties in the closet of the mind

Deep breath comes within me, as I play with skeletons, too pretty to stay hidden

I know that pain is merely a reminder of life spent chasing

A gift to remind me that I am still here, when all I’ve ever wanted was to leave

I know that fighting is the surest way to continue tomorrow’s mistakes

I know that this very moment is the only moment that I have

 

If I can freeze inside the hell I created…

If I can dance with the devil in the bright sunshine…

If I can find the space between my hatred and my love…

Can you dig deeper below your surface and find the truth above?