Hell is where the heart is

Talking about rape, abortion, adoptions - also the last 20 years of my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read about yucky stuff. Go anywhere else on my blog, there's plenty.

11:11

Time 11:11 1:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 5:55 10:10 Here we are again, I sigh.  "I'm...I'm sorry for everything," he stammers, "but did your wish come true, at least?" You wish I will respond, but my silence is my first wish come true.  I don't know what you think, but I know that you don't deserve... Continue Reading →

10:10

I search my face in the mirror.  My pupils are dilated once again.  Large black orbs obfuscate the normal blue or grey hue.  I dourly ponder if it is a desperate attempt by my soul to find light in my self-imposed darkness.  "Who are you in there?" I muse aloud, to no one in particular.... Continue Reading →

5:55

11:11 1:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 In the prison of my mind and heart, I wonder how many times I can remain open and trusting.  I had always believed that the path of love is filled with sacrifice and unselfishness.  Time and time again, I've been reminded that I must love myself first, but I cannot... Continue Reading →

4:44

I'm alone now, but I'm not entirely sure that is the case.  When you came into my life, you kicked up memories and emotions like pollen on a new spring day.  When I looked at you, I saw myself.  Broken and confused, just like me.  You dejectedly told me how you rise and fall by... Continue Reading →

3:33

11:11 1:11 2:22 Fear once ruled my life, but it has fallen away from me.  I suppose, when your heart gets broken enough times, hurting becomes the normal.  Happiness, on the other hand, feels alien.  These thoughts I carry, as I smile to you and say, "I just want you to be happy."  For the... Continue Reading →

2:22

11:11 1:11 Whenever you are around me, exhaustion seems to be constant.  I understand and try not to take it personally.  I have that effect on people.  Since everything shifted, the only constant is impermeability.  People, like clouds, float in and out of my life.  I've proposed it was a test to see if I could... Continue Reading →

1:11

11:11 He looked at me, with a tear sliding down his cheek.  "I seem to have broken my heart." Staying silent, I painted shadows on my face.  In my mind, I saw pieces of my own heart resting on his shoulder.  I wonder if I could brush them off, but I assumed I'd look weird... Continue Reading →

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