Dare you to fuck a blender

This thought, “broken, yes, that’s how the light gets in” keeps replaying. This idea that when you want to build a muscle, you break it down first. That’s how you get stronger. What doesn’t kill you makes you funnier; however, it doesn’t necessarily have to be your life’s purpose. I have to wonder if the... Continue Reading →

MahButtItches, LLC

Oh I forgot, I wanted to do this: The MahButtItches web-verse… -Website: MahButtItches.com -Facebook: MahButtItches -TikTok: Mah_Butt_Itcheshttps://www.tiktok.com/@mah_butt_itches?_t=8Ustgd3oHoA&_r=1 -Insta: MahButtItches -Twitter: MahButtItches -Snap: MahButtItches Brand consistency ✅ brand identity ✅ fuck whoever got MahButtItches on TikTok before me tho. 😡 although it’s kind of amazing I have this many free and clear MahButtItches-es. How can it... Continue Reading →

On Self-Fulfilling Prophesies & Asses Cashing Checks

Did you ever hear the story about Jim Carrey writing himself a $10m check? It goes something like this, he wrote this check, dated a year later, and he carried it in his wallet. I think it was a week before the check was due, so to speak, he landed The Mask for $10m. Naturally, I heard that story, wrote myself a check, did nothing with it, and it hasn't worked (yet). I think I figured out why this ass couldn't cash her check - yet.

Baby Got Beef

I would like to humbly submit my magnum opus. Baby got Beef by Mahbuttitches Oh my god. Becky, look at her fridge.It is so full. She looks like one of thoseDoomsday PreppersBut, you know, who understands those preppersThey only talk to her becauseShe’s got enough TP for theApocalypse, kay?I mean her fridge, is just so... Continue Reading →

The Purpose of Pain

5 years ago, 2 people fought and 5 lives imploded. Countless others were hurt in the fallout. 4 years ago, I was continuing to be a functional alcoholic, self harming and taking out all my pain by starving myself and living on beer, a slice of ham and multivitamins. 3 years ago, I left the... Continue Reading →

Keeping the Ass in Class

First World Problems: Alexa doesn't yet understand "Play Fear Innocculum album by TOOL". On the positive, she has not given me angry mariachi instead. The solution to frustration is of course acceptance and shifting to gratitude. Despite the fact that my house looked like the aftermath of a frat party, there were 5 boys playing,... Continue Reading →

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