The past is chaos, confusion, anxiety, depression. The future is the same. Right now, there’s two feet here. Right here, there’s one breath now. And as long as I remain, I cannot create a solution to find a problem, or a problem to find me.
I had a panic attack last night because the counters were dirty. There I was shaking, heart trying to climb out of my chest ala Alien, and my brain running away in storyland. Because the counters were dirty. Initially, because I’m human, I was pissed. Like, “this? This is the hill we’re dying on today?... Continue Reading →
This 💯 OCD is an anxiety disorder, and it is a chicken or the egg situation. Is anxiety making the OCD worse? Or is OCD making the anxiety worse? Combine this with mixed states in bipolar - where the person is both depressed and manic at the same time, it is akin to feeling like... Continue Reading →
Talking about rape, abortion, adoptions - also the last 20 years of my life. Don't read it if you don't want to read about yucky stuff. Go anywhere else on my blog, there's plenty.
https://www.biblicalarchaeology.org/daily/people-cultures-in-the-bible/people-in-the-bible/lilith/ The story of Lilith has been my personal mythology for a minute. I generally think I’m channeling a lot of that energy right now. I find the whole culture and society thing interesting in the face of this myth. Everyone talks about Eve, but in Jewish mythology, Lilith was first, she refused to be... Continue Reading →
I suppose If you ask What haunts me the most It would be the ghost of the flames I snuffed When I had Flicked my finger Far too quickly Ever so eager To light the very flame That my impatience Had snuffed Once Again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wohIPSEAItk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmIlHih0UKM
At first, I thought meditation was going to cure me and solve all of my problems. I still don't know if the struggles I have are chemical or situational in nature. I suspect both. I think society, materialism, and our chattering monkey brains are contributing to the rising diagnoses for depression, anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar. I... Continue Reading →