Daily Prompt – 1938

Daily writing prompt
List your top 5 favorite fruits.

Froot Loops, Fruity Pebbles, Skittles, Gushers, and Trix. I kid, I kid.

I guess apple, watermelon (said woodermelon bc you can take the girl outta Pennsylvania…), pineapple, strawberries, and honeydew or canteloupe. I can’t decide, and frankly I’ve never really thought about ranking fruit preferences. Also, I believe tomato is technically a fruit and as branch from many Italian roots, I fuckin love me some tomatoes.

Has anybody noticed how expensive canned tomatoes are lately? In order to make my gravy (which is banging, but far inferior to my mom’s, her mom’s, or her mom’s mom’s…), it’s like 4+ bucks a can. I used to get the 10 for $10 and go wild, now I have to debate selling plasma for a proper Sunday dinner. Am I really going to have to debate some sort of entre into prostitution for produce? I was excited the other day b/c I got outta Costco for less than $400 and when I realized how much more shit I still had to buy, I almost puked on the lovely lady scanning my not-that-long receipt that I was excited to spend less than $400 on.

Shit, have you seen the price of canned fruits? Like, I don’t know if it’s just here or what, but in general, the produce looks like shit, goes bad in 5 seconds, and costs 3x what I’m used to. And the same as my tomatoes, canned fruit/chef Boyardee (hey that has a tomato in it I think) used to be 10 for $10, now it’s running a credit check to see if I can afford this cart’s worth.

(Mask off) And I get to bitch about shit like that. There are people whose favorite fruit is whatever they found that wasn’t too rotted in a dumpster or got airdropped from some sort of charitable aid. There are people who can’t celebrate under $400 because they can’t afford $4. There are people giving everything they have to their kids while they go hungry. And on and on. So much food just gets tossed while so many go hungry. And I have to guess we all know it, can’t comprehend it, and aren’t even really sure what to do about it. Except use it to make yourself feel like crap – particularly if you are struggling with any kind of depression. It’s just another easy reason to feel like shit about yourself and life and everything else. At least, that’s how my brain can go. This was basically a stream-of-consciousness thing. I make myself laugh and feel like shit in a couple quick takes, it’s so fucking bizarre.

(Mask on) So yeah where were we…. apples, I donno man, I could list grapes – I fucking love grapes but it’s like a roulette game. A squishy grape? I’m out. I can’t handle it. I shudder as I type the thought. I tell you, I am not cut out for anything beyond being a spoiled neurotic ignorant American who talks to herself and is lucky enough to rank produce and bitch about prices.

(Mask off) When life hands you lemons, find your fucking punchline, then do whatever you want about the lemonade.

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