My go to for rough days is philosophy chillstep (Baba Ram Dass today)/quotes/memes/TikTok and tons of nuts. I read somewhere nuts and seeds contain the omegas your brain needs to ward off depression. Depression is that anxiety ridden/panic attack aftertaste, so whenever off is the new norm, I eat nuts and seeds like it’s going outta style. Dysfunction – Executive meals look like whatever I can throw together most easily, often a slice of ham and a handful of nuts. Maybe an apple.
One thing I happen to do intuitively is meal prep like crazy when I feel like cooking. Like, I always cook enough for an army, but I try to make sure there’s enough leftovers for super easy meals for lunch and/or dinner because I tend to not know if I got it in me to make food. Now we have all the fixings for taco salads and tacos from quesadillas last night. Today was the green bean salad I made the other night, mixed with one of those 90 second pouches of rice, chia, kale, and then I tossed sliced almonds in.
I’ve always done this, but this is the first time I’ve done all this shit and not felt guilty about it. The kids have managed to feed themselves and not trash the kitchen using leftovers. No one has died. Everyone and the whole universe have gone on just fine while I’ve been or felt dead to the world. I’ve just given what I got to give when I got it, and fucked right off til I get back to center. Me first, then everybody else, kinda.