In Case of Emergency: Use Expletives

This roast brought to you by organic whole coffee beans, fucktards, and boundary violations…

“Why be concerned about their feelings? They weren’t concerned about yours when they fucked your shit up, why hold back for theirs?”

“Instead of saying I don’t care, try saying my compassion has reached its limits, and that’s okay. I can be at my limit for compassion”

Alrighty then…Feel free to use my words as your own in times of any duress:

Uf! Yesterday was rough and saw me dozing through most of it. But – just under the surface, like I couldn’t get into deep sleep and was having hella vivid dreams that had me waking up confused about what reality I was in. Plus my phone blowing up despite DND which was, in a word, infuriating…in several words, triggered metric fuck tons of additional, unneeded, anxiety. Like if a person clearly communicates not feeling well, how does that just not jangle a bell or two on the “let a bitch rest-o-meter”?

I want to come up with another word for toxic. Idk why, I just hate that word in it’s current most common context. It’s like how everyone and their mother is a narc, except few have the training to be tossing diagnostics on folks. For my current reality, the words that have been coming to me lately are feeling: railroaded, steamrolled, and gangbanged. Another would be feeling Violated AF. Omg so fucking violated. I don’t consider any of these happy, healthy words, so that means so many reconsiderations must occur poste haste. Toxic feels banal AF when compared to actual descriptive vocabulary.

The root in all these words is: overwhelmed, incredibly, upsettingly, distressingly overwhelmed. I also find it confusing that whelmed isn’t as commonly used word. What am I if I’m not over or under-whelmed? To be whelmed is either to be engulfed, submerged, or buried – which sounds like overwhelmed to me, or to flow or heap up abundantly. I’m fine with that. (If you got the 10 things I hate about you reference: my people, my people… )

Today, imma whelm as best I can, and I am
Not tolerating any over or under whelming from outside sources. Time to bubble on up out of my babbling brook and not let everybody else trample my ass down. Which is, of course, on me, as no one can do anything unless you give them power or permission to. I thought setting boundaries and DNDs would be sufficient, but when people don’t give a shit or a flying fuck about violating boundaries, I suppose it’s like wearing a life jacket in a house fire. Whoops. 🔥

I’m learning how important the circle ⭕️ is. And how it should never be an all access pass. Yesterday ended with me calling all men repugnant, which was a bit much of a generalization, but damn: people say dumb shit, ignorant shit, unhelpful/harmful shit without even taking a sacred pause of reflection or anything to gauge how their words may land. “I was kidding” well, sorry your comedic talents are as lacking as your fucking read-a-motherfucking-room skillz. You’re about as funny as the turd I left in the toilet this morning, contemplating whether or not fiber is needed. So, I may need fiber, you need a whole fucking personality overhaul. Thank god for Metamucil but I don’t know what fucking supplement there is for asshat, assclown, dingleberry, shit-for-brains(and heart).

Just throw bombs with aplomb and act shocked when the recipient of said ignorant bullshit tells you to go fuck yourself sideways with a rusty spork, right? The fuck? I’m making as much sense as you are, fucking insipid, troglodyte, twatwaffle. Unlike you, I know what words mean and the powers imbued by a superior, exquisite, effluent fucking vocabulary.

Get you and your 3rd grade dicks-hung-airy the fuck out of my space. ✌🏻 The word here now is excoriate, and if it’s feeling like a “you’re so vain” moment… 🧐 mirrors are great ways to look at yourself and ask some fucking questions. Fucking assclown, douchecanoe, trifling ass fucktard, scrub-wannabe. Choke on a bag of dicks and explain to whoever was roped into heimliching your ignorant ass why a bag of dicks is the best of the whole gummy family. 😡

Ah, yes, I am whelmed and well. Bring on da memes.

Songs that inspired would be Limp Bizkit: Rollin’, My Way, and Break Stuff

#usingwordswell #excoriateaMFer #backupbackup #keeprollin #bewell #bewhelming #curselikeafuckinglady #didistutter #twatwaffle #yeetthatshit #dingleberryblues #suckit #yourmom #wannagotoeurope #donelikedinner #whenyoupissoff #abitch #whoplayswithwords #onthedaily #Next #roast #noroastbeef #gotbeef #hotbeefinjection #slappadabass

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