13 Rules to (hopefully) not die:

  1. No heroin (*or fentanyl). Admit a problem with any drug, even if that drug has a hella cute ass or is perfectly legal.
  2. There are no rules, except some rules
  3. We talk about Fight Club and We Talk About Bruno
  4. I’m not a possessed noun. I’m a fucking verb.
  5. What doesn’t kill you, makes you funnier
  6. If it scares and excites you at the same time, do it ~ AKA Time to Fuck a Blender Moments
  7. Music is God, literally and figuratively
  8. God is a verb, too
  9. Wherever your time, money, attention go: there’s your god (you just call it addiction to make it seem less crazy). Redirect. Turn that shit into gold.
  10. Shut the fuck up, you hear more in silence, anyway.
  11. I don’t want to be everyone’s cup of tea, or someone’s shot of whiskey. I’d actually prefer to just be my own dose of reality.
  12. Speak softly, but carry Big Dick Energy.
  13. Vaginas are not problematic until you give them problems, and problems with just the word Vagina is a big fucking problem. Red flags are important. 🚩

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