I saw Linda G Hill’s SOCS this week when I read Jill’s response and wanted to play, but my son has stolen my laptop and I’m on my phone. I figured I can type here and save as a draft so I can do the pings and things.
The word was nail, and I thought of Jesus right away. I was raised Catholic, so nails and hands were a pretty regular conversation. That said, I read A Course in Miracles last year. In it, I read “most people focus on the crucifixion” I forget the exact full quote and since this is supposed to be a stream of consciousness, I don’t think I should look for it. But the gist of it was that the whole point was to teach you there’s no death. There’s no pain. The crucifixion was to free us, not to be worshipped as some sacrifice made for us. It was saying something like we think about it all wrong. Because we think about it.
Naturally, I started thinking about it. All my life I was taught about the nails being driven through his hands. Later, I was taught it wasn’t really His hands, it was His wrists because the bone would be needed to support his weight. And I thought damn that’s gruesome. But I also thought, well what the hell – I learned about this all wrong for a long time, and this new information kinda changes everything. But all along, I thought about the nails in his hands or wrists and in his feet. But, I always focused on the pain and the suffering. I didn’t focus on the most obvious thing: the silence.
Imagine having a nail driven into your flesh and not making a sound? I step on a Lego and you’d think I lost a limb. I nail my toe on the side of a couch and scream no end of f bombs. I get an ingrown nail or a hangnail or an infected nail and I whine like a baby.
But a nail gets driven into flesh to support a body on a cross, and not a sound is made?
It’s like I only saw suffering where the truth was triumph. I just needed more information to get it. It’s one thing to recite rote memorization about someone dying for sins and rising to restore our life, but it’s another to really contemplate what it means to me. To imagine a nail and the suffering is to lose sight of the full picture. There was no sound because there was no suffering. There was nothing to suffer. Where I saw a nail, He saw freedom. Where I saw death, He saw life.
And then I wonder what else I don’t see. What else I don’t hear. How many silences have I overlooked because I was suffering a nail? How many crosses do I think about when I am overlooking Heaven? How many times have I gotten pissed off when I could say they know not what they do? Can I look at the world and transform nails into freedom? Salvation? Resurrection? I can’t see why not. He said we could. He said He did it for us. So that means it’s already been done. So does that mean I only see a nail because I think there is one? What happens if I don’t think at all? Often times, it’s posts like this – that maybe make sense to some, maybe make sense to none, but I find just a little more room for peace. I find just a little more space to forgive. I find just a little more heaven on earth.
That was the whole point of the Course in Miracles book – it was basically undoing all the illusion we think under so we can see the truth. It was written in the perspective if Jesus were to be correcting a few points in the whisper down the lane that is life. I randomly started doing the daily exercises – I think I’m on day 12? I forget. But it’s been putting my mind here in these really deep places. Although, I have to agree with Jill – nail as a verb can be quite dirty, though I don’t think she needs to get outta the gutter. It’s more fun in there.