If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority!

The following things, in no particular order, are top priorities:

-Gratitude for everything, even the things pissing me off

-Feeling feelings without trying to change them

-Being a being without trying to change me

-Breathing more deeply and letting things breathe

-Reading more, thinking less

-Getting outside and not being a hermit

-Make new friends (but keep the old)

-Free myself of self-imposed chains of neuroses while pondering the existential crisis of purposelessness, despair, consciousness, Taoism, and whether I actually think Jekyll and Hyde is a work of fiction

-Meditation

-Finding my goddamn coffee before it’s cold

-Finding solutions and resources for living in the 49th best state in education while having kids who need at least the 38th best state’s educational resources.

-See above, substitute mental health and insert crisis and waitlists out the wazoo and feedback like “Wow! You’ve been through a lot” and “Oh wow, god bless!”

-Taking better care of my hair and celebrating 2 inches of new growth (is what she said)

-Taking better care of myself more often than not

-Doing something more than nothing

-Being emotionally supportive to others and minimizing my own projections so I can see people as they are instead of how I am

-Baking bomb ass high altitude chocolate chip cookies/remembering to google high altitude adjustments in recipes

-Letting go of results and validation and just doing it. whatever it is

-Finding the balance between writing to process stress, not being stressed about writing, not writing because I’m too stressed, getting too stressed because I’m not writing to process stress.

-I eat because I hate myself, and I hate myself because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.

-Quitting smoking, losing weight, and minimizing all addictions by trying to understand the patterns that created the neurosis in the first place

-Understanding the pain and joys of loneliness

-Jeffree Star makeup tutorials that I will never ever do, but can’t stop watching. I barely wear makeup but I’m hooked on makeup tutorials. It’s like, deep down, I’ve repressed some sort of androgynous…Marilyn Manson/Omega/Mechanical Animals type me that wants nothing more than to put purple all over my face and not give a fuck. I’m like Jekyll, Hyde, and Jeffree

-Adding errant periods in bulleted lists and text messages. Feeling conflicted.

-Being myself more often, even if that changes as often as I change outfits

 

Current Mottos:

-New Year, New Fears!

-I can’t say I did great, but I know I did my best

-I am getting more comfortable being so uncomfortable

-It’s not about not making mistakes, it’s all about learning from them

 

“Not all who wander are lost” – Tolkein

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