The following things, in no particular order, are top priorities:
-Gratitude for everything, even the things pissing me off
-Feeling feelings without trying to change them
-Being a being without trying to change me
-Breathing more deeply and letting things breathe
-Reading more, thinking less
-Getting outside and not being a hermit
-Make new friends (but keep the old)
-Free myself of self-imposed chains of neuroses while pondering the existential crisis of purposelessness, despair, consciousness, Taoism, and whether I actually think Jekyll and Hyde is a work of fiction
-Finding my goddamn coffee before it’s cold
-Finding solutions and resources for living in the 49th best state in education while having kids who need at least the 38th best state’s educational resources.
-See above, substitute mental health and insert crisis and waitlists out the wazoo and feedback like “Wow! You’ve been through a lot” and “Oh wow, god bless!”
-Taking better care of my hair and celebrating 2 inches of new growth (is what she said)
-Taking better care of myself more often than not
-Doing something more than nothing
-Being emotionally supportive to others and minimizing my own projections so I can see people as they are instead of how I am
-Baking bomb ass high altitude chocolate chip cookies/remembering to google high altitude adjustments in recipes
-Letting go of results and validation and just doing it. whatever it is
-Finding the balance between writing to process stress, not being stressed about writing, not writing because I’m too stressed, getting too stressed because I’m not writing to process stress.
-I eat because I hate myself, and I hate myself because I eat. It’s a vicious cycle.
-Quitting smoking, losing weight, and minimizing all addictions by trying to understand the patterns that created the neurosis in the first place
-Understanding the pain and joys of loneliness
-Jeffree Star makeup tutorials that I will never ever do, but can’t stop watching. I barely wear makeup but I’m hooked on makeup tutorials. It’s like, deep down, I’ve repressed some sort of androgynous…Marilyn Manson/Omega/Mechanical Animals type me that wants nothing more than to put purple all over my face and not give a fuck. I’m like Jekyll, Hyde, and Jeffree
-Adding errant periods in bulleted lists and text messages. Feeling conflicted.
-Being myself more often, even if that changes as often as I change outfits
-New Year, New Fears!
-I can’t say I did great, but I know I did my best
-I am getting more comfortable being so uncomfortable
-It’s not about not making mistakes, it’s all about learning from them
“Not all who wander are lost” – Tolkein
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