Sterilize

Sterilize

Sterile smiles, virile lies

I’m getting better, my soul has died

It is an illness

It is insane

It is my heaven

It is my grave

They say it’s catching

Like I’m a cough

They say I’m crazy

I say, so what?

Starry eyes, eerie cries

Into the heavens

I have soared

I’ve danced in stardust

I hit the sun

Crashing lower

Down ain’t done

Black holes seem endless,

But treasured too

The wisdom and insight of being blue

Call it the ahas of agony

If I’m all wrong, then what was right?

Who’s to blame for genetic blight?

It is ancestral, inherited doom

If I’m to blame, then so are you

Scarred thighs, terrorized

It is my birthright, this suicide

Cut me deeper with your lies

I have no dog left in your race

My mind is running

I’ll give no chase

For in the chaos, my canary sings

She sings of heaven, hell, and gods

She tells me all is never lost

The judge and jury are in me

I needn’t enter the guilty plea

My heart is all I have for-giving

I’m getting worse, yet my soul is living

So, I’ll thank you, when you say I’ve lost

Sanity’s small price for serenity’s cost

I’d rather be me then be like you

I’ll be the cuckoo, the one who flew

Over the nest, my canary’s gone

Sterilize sterile lives

My soul paints the spaces

My mind has lost

I’d rather the living,

I’ll take the odds

Infecting my children, unbidden

The insanity I can’t keep hidden

This madness you claim

That’s eaten my brain

The very same teeth

Chewed through my chains

The canary sings freedom

I dance away

I hear the music

Falling deaf on the “sane”

*I just started reading an exploration of sterilizing bipolar patients, using artistic ancestral studies to show the genetic link between the disorder and the talent. It pissed me off.

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