Jess knew this one was special as soon as she swiped right. She could see a loss or some desperate plea in his eyes, and she felt a connection immediately. Jess didn’t question it because questions lead to too many thoughts. Too many thoughts lead Jess to do questionable things, so she has consistently found it best to live her life one “fuck it” at a time.
He – Anthony – single dad, not interested in anything serious because his heart has been broken, the usual Tinder type. He wants good times, weed, and no strings. He could not have been more perfect. Jess wanted him immediately, but she gets stupid when she gets impulsive. They begin talking and sending pictures on Snapchat, but overall it becomes nothing worth note.
Jess is easily bored and distracted. Anthony was quickly replaced by Scott, Brian, Andrew, and Aaron. Out of the blue, Anthony messaged her. He asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she agreed. He wanted to go for a blunt ride and listen to music. He said he was kind of tired but also tired of being alone. She told him she could probably get him into some new music. Jess had jitters all day, and she was starting to get freaked out by it. She normally is not big on Tinder-lings. To quote Fight Club, her indiscretions came in single servings with almost no seconds. She’s just easily bored and distracted.
She has no interest in a relationship, and any amount of small talk is justification for blocking. For Jess, she enjoys forcing people out of their comfort zone. Feeling the line being crossed turns her on more than any unsolicited dick pic (which she never minded – she preferred to know in advance). It is like taking someone’s virginity. She has been so many firsts, it’s thrilling. It took her a lifetime to accept her different tastes, wants, and needs. One day, she agreed to allow herself to just be fucked up. Once that happened, she started having much more fun and life became so much more interesting. She broke from her reverie and realized she had lost almost an hour.
A few snaps later, she and Anthony were meeting in a few. Jess likes to avoid giving her phone number out as much as possible because she worries there is a limit to the numbers you can block. She has learned so much about the human psyche thanks to Tinder, and she has experienced some of the weirdest. Anthony did not strike her as a weird one. He seemed more like a caged animal than a “can I call you mommy?” type. She was fascinated by this one.
She hopped in his truck and they set off to nowhere. At first, it was easy bullshitting and filling each other in on why they’re even in the same car in the first place. Jess started putting on some music because the tension from Anthony was palpable. Jess thought he might be nervous, but it felt almost as though he was trying to keep himself contained. He did not seem to want to give away too much of anything. She started to get the impression he wasn’t even going to be giving away some dick if he didn’t chill. A few bowls, a blunt, and absurd quantities of weed later, he relaxed enough that Jess didn’t feel like she was inside a vice. She always picked up people’s bullshit. It’s another reason why she preferred the single serve lifestyle.
She started rubbing his leg and teasing him. At her slightest touch, he shook like a leaf. She could not tell if he was afraid, horny, or both. He didn’t stop her, so she continued her advances, now nibbling on his neck and ear. She had not given road head in quite some time, and she was not going to miss the chance tonight. His breathing had grown heavy, and his pants grew tight. Jess smiled and began to undo the zipper.
Anthony had made the mistake of telling her how girls can’t get him off with blow jobs, and Jess loved challenges. He had a monster of a cock, and when she managed to get it all down her throat, she almost clapped for herself. The first time, he almost swerved off the road. She giggled. A few more times and a stop sign got blown. Jess suddenly felt exactly what he was feeling. It was almost like danger was in the air. After he swerved hard again, Jess began questioning if this was the best idea or circumstance, but “fuck it” came to mind, and down she went. This time, he moaned like he hadn’t been touched in his entire life. Finding his favorite technique, she amped up her efforts, as the truck weaves erratically to his pleasure.
She had the memory of one of her favorite books – American Gods – and how Shadow’s wife died with a cock in her mouth – his best friend’s cock – to be specific. Internally, she giggled at the ridiculous irony. Could her death be a copycat of a plot point in a fictional novel? She thought it would be delightful. She’s 27 and would not mind joining the club. Anthony was a tough one. This was taking forever, despite his driving becoming more like bumper cars then an F150. She could tell she was getting close, and she heard him start to pant, “oh fuck, oh fuck” She could have sworn she heard him say almost there, but she couldn’t be sure. As he moaned louder, his foot slammed on the accelerator. It bucked so fast her head bounced to his sternum and the steering wheel, hard enough to make a honk, and to make her lose her stride.
As if nothing had happened, he brought the car to a gentle stop. She went back to what she was doing, relieved he had finally realized the multitasking was not a good idea. It was too dark to see where they were stopped, she could make out trees, but she could not be sure they were even on a road. It felt as though they were on an incline though. She mentally told herself to quit the Nancy Drew shit and get back to work because she wanted to get this boy out of his shell. Suddenly, he grabbed her by the hair and began furiously fucking her mouth. It was as if he finally let himself be himself and do what he wanted to do. He had her hair gripped so hard, she thought her roots would tear, and she loved it. She was so immersed, she didn’t really notice or wonder at the noise from the train. It was only when the cab became suddenly and unnaturally bright did Jess start really thinking, albeit too late. As she heard another blast, he came all over her face. He grabbed her, kissed her, and said “finally”.
Jess’ blurry cumshot reality disintegrated before her eyes. Glass, metal, everything was everywhere, and the cardinal directions became more like suggestions. Just as she saw a chunk of something sail through Anthony’s forehead and remove the top of his skull as neatly as she’d cut a piece of butter, everything went black.
Then, she opened her eyes. There was no wreckage. She had clear memories of what had happened, but she was nowhere near it and she was no longer in the same clothes. She walked about a mile up the road instinctively to find her car waiting. Jess doesn’t like to ask questions. Questions lead to thoughts, and too many thoughts lead to questionable things. Jess liked to live one fuck it at a time, and she was proud of being so many firsts.
She glanced at her phone to see a snap she had not seen. It was from Anthony, and it was a picture of the oncoming train. The text on the picture simply read “The ride of a lifetime. Thank you.” She smiled and deleted him from her reality. That one was fun – she couldn’t imagine who would be next, but she was certain she had new notifications on Tinder.
Mah Butt Itches 