I don’t know why I barely write anymore, and it’s driving me nuts. It’s as if I lost the desire to do the one thing I love doing most, and I honestly don’t know how I feel about it! I said the other day, “If I truly wanted to write, I would have written, and that’s the long and the short of it.”
That said, I don’t think I want to write about not writing, or maybe I do. Because I do know I am at a weird impasse in my life. I could use a lot of terminology to describe it. New age-r’s would say “Dark Night of the Soul” but they actually stole that from Saint John of the Cross, who coined that way back in the day, because actually, New Ager-s aren’t new in their age at all. Most of the “new age” is actually ancient or at the very least, old. /rant
I’m sorry, I’m getting very persnickety about words lately. Honestly, I guess that is why I don’t write anymore. I have found myself in the unenviable position of a writer who hates words. I don’t know what the fuck to do with that lot.
However, I have hope. I started reading Ram Dass, and his teacher instructed for 15 years using a chalkboard. As he said, when you are writing on a chalkboard, you learn to get brief and deliver the essence. Clearly, if I keep writing less, I will get better at writing less. “Brevity is the soul of wit” right?
My problem with words anymore is they rarely deliver essence. It’s usually euphemism. Could you imagine George Carlin nowadays? The poor man. What would he say about all of these “sexual misconduct” allegations? What exactly does that even mean? That is such disgusting whitewashing, and what does that even mean? I literally died you know? I can’t even just omg…lol you guys! sighhhhhhhhhhhhh
Honestly, I’m glad women are coming forward. I’m irritated at the terminology. It’s not misconduct. It’s assault, or rape, etc. At the same time, I’m equally perturbed at trials being done in the media. In Legally Blonde, Elle Woods beautifully delivers Aristotle’s quote, “The law is reason free from passion” and adorably smiles and completely overturns the quote. Well, no offence Elle, but you’re an idiot. LoL totes kidding ❤ No – Aristotle’s point is law and passion are not to be bedfellows. Emotions have no place in the law. As heinous as the crimes are, you look at facts. You look at the essence. Reason and precedence are how you rule and it the onus is on the prosecution to prove the defendant committed the crime beyond a shadow of a doubt to the jury.
The men who masturbated in front of women, raped them, coerced them, etc. should have charges pressed against them and we have a legal system for this. I also have been upset at the length of time some of these women have remained silent. I understand fear, shame, etc. but there is responsibility there too. I’m sorry. No, actually I’m not sorry. Pain and suffering pervade in silence and we all know this. We have all known this long enough. Continuing to encourage these releases and shaming these men in the media is, in my mind, equally shaming women. It shows how effective shame is. Many of these cases are outside statutes of limitations, so in remaining silent, they cannot go to court. I understand the hell powerful men with money can put people through, so I understand why this is happening as it is. I am not trying to shit on anyone, but this is thin ice. Accusations like this should not be immediately trusted anyway because not everyone tells the truth and that’s the truth.
We have a standard of innocent until proven guilty, as well. Lives have been ruined in the media for innocent people accused of a crime they were not guilty of. Accused, convicted, and exonerated are all very important, specific words that should be carefully weighed before opinions are formed – regardless of the heinousness or wow factor the headline.
Aristotle’s quote should not apply to the courtroom alone. As a society, we have lost our ties to philosophy as a whole. Our greatest philosophers now are comedians, and apparently, they jack off in front of women and destroy their entire empire of genius and talent for a hotel carpet cum shot. (I cannot BELIEVE a man who literally said “blind dicks thrusting around in space” would do that!) It seems everyone took Elle Woods to heart on everything, and like, that was a movie. Passion should rule a lot of things, but reason should rule communication.
Remember how Socrates said, ”
“Is it true; is it kind, or is it necessary?”
If we cannot definitively answer #1, we should withhold our opinions, tweets, hashtags, selfies, literal shatting of the pants, pitchforks, etc. There are very real lives being affected every day by words and social media. I’m using these sexual misconducts as an example; however, with the power of the internet and an accusation – hell, with the power of the internet and words, lives are being ruined.
The problems as I see it are: very legal issues are being bandied around in the public with very little reason and very high passion. This is not okay. For one, most people do not read entire articles. They are looking for the essence of the issue, but most articles are giving opinions off as essence, or even worse, we give euphemisms off as essence. Then, the euphemism becomes acceptable. Suddenly, these things become more palatable. If I tell you celebrity x anally raped a poodle behind a Chinese restaurant while eating dim sum versus celebrity x committed sexual misconduct, there are two VERY different images in your mind.
Remember when Paul Reuben masturbated in a porn theatre? It was everywhere he masturbated in a porn theatre. He did not commit sexual misconduct in a porn theatre. He was “pleasuring himself in an adult theatre” or “masturbating in a porn theatre” or “Pee Wee Herman went Wee Wee with is Pee Wee” (I’m lying…) The point is, it was very clear what he did and where.
I find it concerning many of these accusations are going to newspapers versus legal channels. At this point, it is what it is, most of these cases are well beyond statues of limitations, and that is a shame. These men deserve jail time. However, I would feel more comfortable having them formally convicted in a court of law in addition to having their lives ruined. I’d like to have the evidence presented in front of a jury OR have their admissions – as in the case of Louis CK – before so many things happen to their careers. We have a legal system for a reason because there are checks and balances for a reason. The media and public opinion will happen the way it happens. Admissions and apologies are going to happen. However, there is a lot of irresponsibility happening right now too. Many people reading the articles, commenting, and forming opinions are part of that. Again, not just with sexual misconduct. I just mean in general. It’s not even totally the reader’s fault either. It’s getting increasingly difficult to get to the essence of words.
((**Editor’s Note – I literally have no dog in this race except Aristotle, so feminists, do not get on my shit, pro masturbating people, do not get on my shit. I just thought it was a good time to point out why Elle Woods was wrong, and I love Legally Blonde, it’s my favourite movie. Also, if I find out John Oliver inappropriately oodle’d the SCOTUS poodle, I’m going to write a really angry tweet. I’m so #thankful I’d have more characters to appropriately hashtag it.))
The non-point in all of this is both we have lost sight of the essence of reality. Everyone’s focused on the wrong George’s nightmare. Orwell’s 1984 is probably a whole thing, but Crikey folks, can we talk about the Carlin nightmare that nobody talks about because we’re all so busy talking?? I’m going to get back to trying to write less because this was too many damn words.
I agree. Weinstein was one thing. He had serious power. Some of the others… not so much. I know that victim blaming is a thing, but I find it sad that they all kept quiet because of their careers (in most cases) but none of them stopped to think about all of the future women/men that it would happen to. The first women to accuse Ed Westwick had me scratching my head. She didn’t name her boyfriend and she also claimed that said boyfriend told her that Ed Westwick would ruin her career. A simple Google search would have told her that wasn’t the case. There are so many things that have to be considered. Alcohol, drugs… etc. That’s what the legal system is for but apparently we don’t need that anymore.
That being said, being sexually harassed or assaulted is awful and I can understand why they would keep quiet. Shame, guilt etc.
Yup. Trial by media is very dangerous. If it can happen to these well known people it can happen to anyone. That’s not right. I actually think going to a newspaper is an step up from posting tweets and Facebook statuses like some people have. Crazy.
Sorry for the long comment, I’m just glad I’m not the only one watching everything and wondering WTF is going on.
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Thank you. Oh man. I’m so glad to hear I’m not the only one. I’ve been wondering! I’ve said it a few times and gotten dirty looks like this some
Sort of thing to be proud of and I don’t get it. I have nothing but compassion for anyone who has been hurt. I have ranted about victim shaming in the past too but this just doesn’t feel right. And that’s exactly what I see. It’s not the Louis CK. It’s Bob Smith. That someone randomly posts about on Facebook, and so forth. There seems so little accountability, fact checking. This is a goddamn witch hunt right now.
Don’t be sorry for the long comment you made my day. I’m glad I’m not the only reasonable person left!!!
Reading headlines, HEADLINES, containing the words ‘alleged’ ‘accused’, sets off all sorts of alarm bells in my head. A politician in the UK recently took his own life amid ‘allegations’ of inappropriate sexual conduct. Maybe he was guilty. We will never now know. It’s only right that there is an arena for this discussion and I commend anyone who has been a victim for being able to find their voice. But I fear for the consequences of trial by media. Our respective judicial systems may not be perfect, but they’re the best anyone’s come up with so far. At least both sides get to say their piece. The alternative is a mob of vigilantes. Dangerous territory.
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I thought I replied to you, but alas, “send” was never hit hahahahahaha. Exactly!!!!! It’s not that I’m in favor of these dudes, but man I don’t like the slippery slope we’re on. BOTH ways, really. Let’s say every single one of these allegations are 100% legit, and that everything that kind of started really, with Cosby has just been an awful progression of people coming forward encouraged because someone else came forward…
All it takes is one person out to make money, fame, whatever, to be completely verified a hoax, and defamation suits, etc. become stronger, victim blaming/shaming becomes stronger, everything that the last decade has done to get people to stop the madness will start unraveling, because to me, this is a house of cards in a wind tunnel. It’s progress, sure, but not good, not stable, not lasting. There need to be more reasonableness AND googly eyes. lol
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‘BOTH ways’, absolutely. There’s a lot of female behaviour out there that’s shameful too. I personally know a guy who turned down someone’s advances, after he gave her a lift home after a night in the pub. She then cried rape and his life became hell. She later confessed the truth but he couldn’t bring himself to pursue a charge against her. Just wanted to draw a line and try to get on with his life. Though he felt that some people will always doubt him. If one good thing comes out of the wind tunnel, let’s hope that everyone, male and female, are looking at their own behaviour and also having the strength to speak up if they feel a situation is inappropriate. Hands up anyone who has not found themselves on the giving or receiving end of an extremely awkward misconstrued intimate encounter! In other news; landscaping our new garden; dug up a pair of googly eyes. True story. Slightly freaked 😉
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Here I am again ! Just read this via the BBC news website, interesting topical read…….
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Fuck. Yes. A million times this. Oh man what a beautiful article. Thank you. I’m smiling and feeling so much less alone!!!
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