Sunshine Blogger Award

Sue at My Loud Bipolar Whispers nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. This morning, I was thinking to myself about getting rid of this blog. I keep thinking writing under the name Mah Butt Itches is a stupid idea, and people just disregard me because who the fuck would write under a name referencing an itchy ass? I spent this morning journaling about the pro’s and con’s because I am at this weird spot in my life where I want to run ahead, I want to push myself, and I want to make my life the way I want. At the same time, I just don’t know what I want, or what to do. I never reached a decision, because I had a sound healing meditation to go to. There, I met a woman from a local group – Awaken CHE – who is a blog manager and would like me to write for them. I chuckled on my way home, thanking Mother (as I call the Universe). I look at my email, and I see messages from Sue, and I teared up. Sometimes, you get pushes when you ask. I set my intention at the meditation, “I want clarity on my next steps, and I want the blocks in my way removed.”

Sue is a blogger who helps me keep going. Doubt and fear are always hanging around, and anytime I want to write about what I have gone through, there’s always a voice putting doubt in my head. “why are you writing about this? you are making an ass of yourself!” Then, I remember where I was before, reading blogs like Sue’s, admiring women like Sue who share their stories. Ending mental health stigma needs to happen, and it happens by people continuing to talk, share, and not letting anyone make us feel less than because our minds work differently.

I’ve always said “Me Too” are two of the most powerful words in the English language. When I read what other’s have overcome or struggle with, I don’t feel alone. Reading Sue’s blog throughout September, I was so inspired. Her attitude is incredible. I really hope you will go read her inspirational and beautiful words, because she is helping me and many others stay strong. Sue – thank you so much for being an angel today, bringing sunshine on my cloudy day, and for being there for me and so many, when “me too” makes all the difference. To quote Sue in her post, “When we all work together we will be able to combat, conquer and stop mental illness stigma.”

Rules for “The Sunshine Blogger Award”

Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to them.
Answer the eleven questions asked.
Nominate 11 other bloggers.
Create 11 new and different questions for them to answer.
List the rules.
Include the “Sunshine Blogger Award” logo in your post somewhere.

That is it… easy peasy…

Here are the answers to my 11 questions:

How old are you?
- I am 35
How old were you when you were diagnosed with mental illness, or other type of chronic and/or invisible illness or grief?
- I was 30 years old. My first time being diagnosed was in the mental hospital after I suffered a nervous breakdown.
Where do you live? (City, State, Country)
- I am in Telford, PA, USA
What makes you happy?
- Sucking air in my head, really. I figure, as long as I’m alive, I clearly am doing something right.
What makes you angry
- People who say ignorant shit like “suicide is selfish” or “bipolar people are selfish assholes” etc. Really, when people generalize ignorance and spread hatefulness for no other reason than to shit in someone else’s cereal
When was the last time you experienced mental illness stigma or any other type of stigma or discrimination?
- Anytime I am dumb enough to read internet comments. Directly, though, the one that really stands out is my last psychiatrist. I had told her the drug she had me on made me feel terrible, I was describing how I felt and she told me, “look, you are bipolar, okay and you need to accept you are going to take medication the rest of your life and stop complaining”
How were you stigmatized?
- Oops, I answered that above lol.
What is your favorite kind of candy?
- Omg… there are so many. Frozen Snickers and Reese’s PB cups, probably take the cake… Actually I hate cake, but I do love Kit Kats. And Twix. Yesterday, wawa had these chocolate coconut candies for sale… good lord.
What is your favorite season and why?
- Fall! I guess, as stressful as it is, the birthday stretch is a lot of fun, I mean, my kids being happy and excited and spending lots of time with them is awesome, the leaves turning in PA is beautiful beyond words, the crisp air, apple cider, Halloween, what’s not to love? Oh right, and it’s my birthday and I am a special ray of sunshine, so woot.
How long have you been blogging?
- Well, on WP, it’s actually 1 year and 2 days… I started blogging on livejournal in July last year
Do you prefer a sunny or a cloudy/rainy day and why?
- I love them both – sunny days make me happy to just get outside and breathe the fresh air, and rainy days make me appreciate having a home and a warm blankie.

My Nominees:

Honest K – The crazy produce wasting Scotswoman is first
Little Fears – I LOVE these cartoons, and they make me laugh every time
Damn Girl, Get Your Shit Together – My favorite new blog. I feel like the title says it all, but if you want someone to just tell you to stop your bullshit while making you laugh at your bullshit? Go here.
Sue already nominated her, but she’s getting a double nom, because her poetry is too damn good!! Opinionated Head
The Essence Within – Inspirational, Mindblowing, Wise, and wonderful.
Say No To Clowns – love Vanessa’s poetry and writing.
Tales of a Hypochondriac – love Courtney’s journey and honesty
Zoolon Hub – Music, funny stories, cool all around
The Militant Negro – Insightful, lots of new blogs to read, love this blog
A Opinionated Man (blames Gary)
Mindfump – funny dude, great insight, awesome blog

11 Questions from Moi

Fuck/Marry/Kill – Your most memorable High School Crush (as they are now), The One That Got Away (don’t lie, we all have one), and the person you are currently with. If single, Ellen DeGeneres.
What is a phrase that you have said out loud that, immediately after saying it out loud, you said, “I can’t believe I just said that out loud” for example, I told a room of grown ass adults earlier that I needed to go potty. Alternatively, [Barrel] can you please stop rolling around on the floor, you almost tripped a dog.
Is there anything about you that you really like, even though you think you should dislike it?
What is your weirdest favorite food combo? If you don’t have one, what is wrong with you and why do you hate your life?
How old are the pants you just won’t throw away because they are too comfy?
If you could have anything you want for breakfast tomorrow, what would it be?
If you could put two people in a room to have a conversation, and you would simply get to listen, who would it be? They can be alive or dead.
Have you ever snapchatted sexually suggestive produce to people?
Have you ever sent your genitalia via text?
Do you ever wonder where those pictures are?
If you got a chance to do 1 choice/action/moment in your life over, would you take it?

Have fun and thank you very much for answering all of them.

Thanks to everyone who reads my writing, thanks for the nuts above for keeping me smiling, and thanks again to Sue for helping me through a rough day, without even knowing it. I love being part of the WP community for moments like this, and I love being able to share stories with people like Sue because it’s nice to feel less alone ❤