Hurt so Good

Happy Saturday!!  What’s everyone got going this weekend? I am kid-less this weekend!

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One of my friends started doing aerial yoga a couple weeks ago.  She talked me into going with her last night.  I booked the class on Thursday morning before I could talk myself out of it, and I spent the next 24+ hours completely anxious, scared, and wondering why I would do this to myself.  I had images of me falling on my face, not being able to do asanas, holding the class up because I can’t do it, or not even being able to get in the hammock.  All day yesterday, I kept telling myself that I’m making everything seem so much worse than reality could ever be.  (understatement of the year…)

Anyway, I just ignored myself and went.

My heart was racing for the first 10 or so minutes.  I got stuck right away, for some reason, I just couldn’t figure out how to move my left foot.  The instructor helped me, I was blushing, my foot moved.  The first thing we did was turn the hammocks into little meditation cocoons, and it got me chilled, dropped in, and warming up.  The stretches felt amazing.  It was hard, at some points, I literally dripped sweat on the ground.  I could feel muscles being accessed and expansion I had never gotten before.  In a side angle, I was able to kick my leg straight out with my fingers hooked around my big toe.  My butt is going to really, really benefit from this movement.  I could feel new holes getting ready to form in additional yoga pants!  The inversions though.  I always love inversions.  Honestly, just forward folds are my absolute favorite.  I did an inverted shoulder stand, I flipped to stand, I did so many things I did not think I could do.

I did fall once.  It was not remotely like the faceplant I imagined all day.  It was a quick realization I was going down, where I deftly. I need to emphasize deftly, because I am usually as graceful and coordinated as an overdosing panda, and I arched my back, planted my forearms (saving my face), and somehow did a controlled sliding AND SILENTLY (I imagined an entire orchestral percussion of fall sounds) went down.  The instructor complimented me, and said I fell like a ninja.  I was so proud.  hahaha

Right now, I’m the heaviest I’ve been weight-wise in probably 7 or so years.  I’ve never been skinny, and it is what it is.  I spent so much time obsessed with my weight and appearance that I can’t be bothered anymore.  I’m not saying I walk around looking like Gollum – unless I’m on a quest to meet my billionaire at Wawa – but I dig me.  Whatever.  Yoga came about for butt growth and to do something.  I knew I needed something to commit to. Something that moved my body and I was passionate about.  I am not passionate about going to the gym and walking on a treadmill.  It’s something I might work towards, but it would actually be more in support of yoga than pants size.  If that makes sense.

The point in that paragraph is, me being plus size, chunky, fat, [insert whatever here], is something I do struggle with in yoga.  It’s nothing besides my own imagination and self-critic.  That’s mainly why I was scared.  The instructor said last night, “I want you to honor your bodies, and I want you to honor where you are at, but I also want you to remember that you will not grow if you do not step outside of your comfort zone.” I was hanging upside down, beaming, sweating, and I needed to hear those words.  Yoga is what helps me do exactly that.  There is something about getting inside of your body and trusting completely in your ability to do everything.  To see one day, you tried to do tree pose, and couldn’t even pick your leg up, and the next, you get up for 5 seconds, and on and on.

Building on that, I signed up for a free intro to pole dancing class tomorrow.  I am so scared and excited.  I have wanted to try pole dancing for 3 years now, and I always told myself that I was too fat, uncoordinated, and obtuse to attempt to swirl my ass around a pole.  However, today is a new day.  Firstly, I have an ass I can swing around the pole, and that makes a difference.  Secondly, it’s one class, and if I hate it or accidentally break both ankles, my coccyx, and a femur or two, I don’t have to go back.  What’s to lose?

I know I write about yoga a lot, but I can’t help it.  Yoga is one of those things that make me smile that big, deep breath, smile.  Where you are purely happy to just exist.  There are no bills, to do’s, yesterday or tomorrow.  There is you hanging upside down, dripping sweat, in awe that you felt your spine align for the first time in probably your entire life.

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20 thoughts on “Hurt so Good

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  1. Wow! An inverted shoulder stance?! I can’t hold my own weight on one leg! Well done! My dream is to be able to do any kind of stance one day, ooooone day. I’d love to do pole dance classes too, I’ve heard great things! Enjoy 😊

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    1. Hahahahaha we’ll remember I’m hanging in a silk so I was kind of weightless. Well like I had to get my legs up. That was tough. Like getting straight? It was amazing though. I didn’t think I’d be able to do any of that.

      I’m excited about it for sure! I’m
      Nervous of course but if I can freaking swing around upside down in a silk, I am pretty sure I can at least try!

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      1. It’s I think kind of new – like I’m sure it’s been around but it’s gaining popularity. It seriously was so cool. You should check around and see if any studios have aerial yoga! You’d probably love it. Like you kind of feel like a little kid again! How are you feeling??

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      2. You are so right! I would love it! I’ll need to find somewhere that does it, or I’ll be tying bed sheets from my ceilings 😁
        Ugh, this cold is a killer 😒 all 3 of us are ill and all at different stages. Jess is obviously handling it better than her parents, she’s not snapping at people when they move too much or talk too loud. It’s a real nasty one, whole body aches and now my chest is burning due to sneezing and coughing 😝 hoping tomorrow is a better day. Although, weirdly we did have a nice day lounging about and eating junk inbetween naps. Couldn have done without the shivers and snot though 👌😂

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      3. You could try the yoga trapeze at home if there’s none around you. I’ve heard that’s awesome. You hang it in a doorway. Hell I might end up getting it hahaha

        Christ dude I’m sorry. That sounds like a perfect day minus the Black Death. Hahahaha rest and get your fluids and get your tits together hahahahhaa

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      4. Yoga trapeze…in your own home…..sign me up!!! I’m going to Google that right away!
        Ha! Minus the black death indeed, thought about putting a cross on the front door, nasty.
        If only I could get my tits together, ain’t no amount of tit tape gonna pull those babies in, poor wee lambs 😆

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      5. Hahahahahahahhahhahahahahahhahaha RIP breasticles. Mine haven’t been perky in over a decade. They generally look at my feet, sad and deflated “what have you done to us?!?!” They cry as I mash them into a bra and heave them into appropriate positions 🤣🤣🤣

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      6. 😂😂😂 I never had much tits to start with but by the time pregnancy and porn start like breastfeeding tits took it’s toll, well, now I can pinch em and move em about the place and, as you say, position them. The wee bitches an insult to injury and frequently make an escape for it out my bra….and not because they are big juicy freedom fighters, quite the opposite. I could park a bus in there beside them. I can pull them by the nipple, straight out, no pain and watch as they slllllowly return to their shape. Kinda like the scruff of a dehydrated dog. Lovely.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Hahahahahaha Mine are like maneuvering a water bed. They’re like two oversized socks filled with jello. Pulling my spine in the wrong direction and practically smacking me in the face during pajama down dog. It’s so hot. Like so. Hot.

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      8. Oh also I want you to be the first to know. I went for a hike today, about 7 or 8 miles. I stuck my cell phone in my sports bra and I freaking sweated so much that I have boob sweat water damage on my phone 💦💦this is why we can’t have nice things…

        I hope I didn’t hurt your chest when you laugh.

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      9. Stop! I’m trying to stifle my laugh, it hurts. Oh it burns. And then I cough. Boob sweat damage 😂 Jesus on a stick woman! Who knew that was even a thing! I think it is you that needs to get your tits together, actually you need to seperate them and hoist them up. Get some air under there. Too funny man, far too funny. RIP phone, tbh I’m sure plenty of people would live to die this way 😂

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      10. Hahahahahhahahahaha you’re right. I’m the one who kills her phone by sweating like a smoked pig and manages mammary based water damage.

        Motorboat of DEATH.

        Well I took a long bath and my tits are together, dried, and smelling of my ginger clay detox bath salts – purifying AND alleviates muscle soreness. I hobbled into my house like i was a 103 year old with arthritis, osteoporosis, and gout. Probably a prolapsed rectum too.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m telling you man. I hurt myself hahahahhaa I’m waiting on Chinese delivery right now because in addition to transforming sweating to the oldies to the modern age of phone destruction, I forgot to fucking eat before hand. I’m deliriously drinking water and hallucinating egg rolls.

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      1. Snap! We had Chinese too, my philosophy was the soup would help our disease annnnnnd it was the only way any remote version if vitamin was going to pass our lips today. Bitches ain’t cooking while ill, bitches rarely cook when not ill!
        Well done on the hike though! A well earned Chinese I’d say!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s how I thought too. Like if I sweat enough to break my phone, I deserve the deliciousness of delivery. And Chinese is my fave noooommm and thanks my friend. I hope you and your crew are on the mend quickly and that you do not kill each other in the process.

        Liked by 1 person

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