Murphy’s Law of Motherhood explicitly states:
- if your children are going to incite mutiny against you, each other, pants, and all things peace and quiet, you will have your period at the time.
- You may also be completely out of coffee, and it will be too early for wine or beer
- Your only comfort in times like these: “at least I’m clearly not pregnant.”
- It is always easier to clean their rooms yourself, but you will fight on principle
- Even if you get them to clean, the rest of your house will suffer for your travesties
- Their willingness to eat is inversely proportional to the amount of time you spent cooking
- You will inevitably see endless posts on Facebook of beautiful family dinners as you wonder why you didn’t just do a veggie & cheese tray and tell yourself it’s crudites
- If you don’t mop, they won’t spill.
- If you do, you will never figure out where the hell that sticky spot came from
- Time-outs are a form of cruelty
- To you and you alone
- If you are somewhere quiet, your child will announce loudly they farted, with pride
- Tantrums are also mandatory
It’s been a morning… Any others to add? I need a laugh.