Black VW

Every time I see a car like yours

I crane my head and eyes

As if seeing your face again

Would answer one of a thousand lingering lies

As if seeing your baby blues, would cure my darkened skies

As if I could shout through traffic, “would please explain why

You watched me flay and flambé my being

Then serve you my heart still beating

When you knew you’re a vegetarian?”

I undressed my soul for you

Like a virgin on prom night

When you discarded me, like a condom

I rejected myself too

Like a plastic bag floating in the wind

But I was no American Beauty

I never see your face in traffic, just haunting all my dreams

They say if you can’t sleep, you are awake in someone’s mind

So I apologize for your insomnia

In my dreams, there’s a future

of yesterdays repeating

One day, I missed my company

Gathering dust in a corner, like tear-y eyed mourner

So I stopped watching cars and started watching clouds

On rainy days, I cried

On sunny days, I hide

When all the songs sang about you,

I turned the volume up

Til my ear drums started bleeding

Wishing my Tell Tale Heart to stop beating

Then one day, I just let go

Of the razor wire of my love

My hands are ground sausages

A mess of holding on

Of the pain that feels so perfect

I mistook it for love

The clouds never gave an answer

Just the slightest of suggestion

The pain of you I loved so much

Is nothing more than my reflection

So now, when I see the cars

I look for new faces

Now, when I hear music

I sing I love you to myself

Nothing you did was ever worse

Than believing my own lies