One Mom’s Itchy Butt #3

I saw Guardians of the Galaxy #2 yesterday, so today, I’m geeking out.  We’ll start with Chris Pratt’s abs, and I’ll just zone out and stay there…. haha

I grew up on superheroes.  Batman and the X-Men were my absolute favorites.  I have always loved the idea of superpowers.  I genuinely wanted to shoot lightning at a lot of people or explode in flames ala Jean Grey.  Hell, I have a Phoenix tattooed on my back, because I really do believe that is me.  I’m a flaming bird wrapped in skin.  Well, maybe just a really bad ass chick who loves to keep rising after she falls, but whatever.

Anyway, as I watched Chris Pratt’s glistening abs, I was reminded of the joy of being a kid watching these cartoons and wishing I could be like the X-men or whoever.  I always say “I used to think I was Superwoman”.  Thanks to the sexiness of Chris Pratt, I had a great realization…. I AM Superwoman – to my kids.  My kids absolutely think I’m incredible.  My oldest gave me the inspiring review of, “Mom! DAD is SO COOL, he has a motorcycle.  …. You’re cool too, you like great music.”  My daughter chimed in with, “AND Mommy has THREE tattoos, Daddy only has one” and my baby boy said, “Mom, you’re poopie.” which, seeing as Barrel is obsessed with all things poop, I’ll take as I hold his highest esteem.

Being a Mom is amazing and difficult, and my brain is what makes me the Mom I am – for better or “worse”.  I certainly have my struggles, but bipolar has allowed my mind to exist outside the box to the point I couldn’t tell you what the hell the box even is!

I do have a lot of creativity, and that is incredible.  My creativity inspires the hell out of my kids.  My daughter writes/illustrates her own books.  She occasionally writes poetry about butts (where do these kids get this butt and poop talk?!), my oldest son is all about parkour because I keep telling him he’s the most talented jumper I’ve ever seen, and my youngest draws big butts and cannot lie.  I don’t let my kids stay in boxes either; they’re in Catholic school while I teach them meditation and Yoga at home.  We color mandalas, and they all have malas. I really try to equally inspire them and educate them to become themselves – whatever path they’ll choose.   My kids love being my kids at Christmas time and Birthday time especially.  I go nuts with surprises all the time in the best ways possible.

That right there is the best part of being a Mom.  I’ve always been proud of knowing my gang the way I do.  I know how to talk to each of them in a language that resonates with them.

Being a mom and having my brain also give me a huge capacity for love and understanding.  Yes, depression and anxiety are hurdles and affect all facets of my life, but my brain also is capable of creating a reality that encourages me and the kids to be the superheroes we want to be.  My daughter wants to be an artist/vet/writer/yoga instructor, and my sons want to be stunt doubles, I think.

My boys struggle with ADHD in school.  I tell them that it is their superpower.  Their brains work differently, as does mine.  Different is not bad, because if all of our brains worked alike, we wouldn’t have lightbulbs, or cars, or Chris Pratt standing shirtless on a large screen (good lord woman…hahahaha) I do think that our diagnoses are super powers.  The greatest minds we know all carry some alphabets behind their names, and it’s not always PhD or MBA.

I tell them all they are geniuses and they can do and be whatever they want to be.  I know that is true, because I’ve survived to this point despite a brain that likes to tell me to kill myself all the time. Anything and everything is possible with love.  The thought of being “the best mom in the world” is what has kept me going since I was 14, and every day, they are my dream come true (even if sometimes they are a nightmare too!)

The strength we achieve in managing mental health plus being a mom is absolutely super human.  I do not believe I am ill, but I do have to work hard to stay healthy.  As I say to the kids, our brains work differently. I’ve had to accept that me and the boys need to take medication to help us, because “with great power comes great responsibility”. They cannot focus and learn at school (though I disagree with 99% of our country’s education system and would give my left leg to overhaul everything and/or somehow tutor them or something). After my son attempted to fly out of his second story window, I was reminded that our minds can be amazing, but sometimes we do need to keep reality (or, say, Laws of Gravity) in perspective. Likewise, I cannot maintain balance without the support of meditation, Yoga, mindfulness, and medication.

Being a mom has taught me about love – real, genuine unconditional love.  That gift is one I give to myself now, embracing all of me and celebrating my superpowers as I raise the three most amazing kids in this galaxy.  It’s my hope to keep inspiring everyone around me to do the same.

What’s your superpower?

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((all images courtesy of Guardians of the Galaxy movies, and I have no rights to these images or whatever nor do I claim to be as sexy as Chris Pratt…))