A day in the life…

A Day in the Life…

Get up and run.

Run from the nightmares, run from the words, run from it all, but can’t really

Sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt me

Bed, tears, music, fears….

Pray my god my soul to take, give my aching heart a break.  God, if you’re up there, can I come to you? God, if you’re up there, why don’t you love me? What did I do?

Now I lay my head to bed, wishing, wishing I was dead

 

Get up and run.

Run from the nightmares or run to get ready

Coffee and criticism…Should have, would have, could have

Push the day, purge problems, drink denial

Failure in perfection, chasing a carrot with legs

Never enough when the bar constantly rises

Can’t really breathe when you’re already drowning

Snacking on suicide, eyeing up the kitchen knives, what if I just….

Forgot to eat again

Dinner! Mac and cheese and masochism!

Dinner! Meatballs and meltdowns hidden by masks

Pass out before you have time to think, what if I just…

 

Coffee and confusion…

What if I just….why did I just….how did this all come to be

How does milk run out so quickly?

Poison to prose, confusion to consonants, suicide to serenity

Stopped the drinking, but not the denying, or did I?

I forgot, what was I saying?

Flashback, panic attack, crazy again, didn’t know you were supposed to have feelings

Little now, big later, Alice’s Wonderland seems like home

Where was I? I forgot

Cycle up, cycle down

Cycle down, cycle up

Rise above, shove below, or am I supposed to shove out? I forgot again.

 

Get up and breathe

Sipping the coffee and gulping the gratitude

So good to finally wake up

 

…………………I forgot the milk